Lesson From a Dream
I had the most intense dream last night. I will say this as the prologue, I am not afraid of spiders or insects. What I do have is an intense amount of caution toward anything that kill me, no matter the size.
So, I am in my apartment minding my own business. This is how the dream starts. I could be flying the high skies, exploring worlds unbeknownst to man, but no. I am in my apartment. Way to go subconscious.
Suddenly, a large spider appears. It could have been crawling down the wall or simple slide down its rope of doom onto my coffee table.
I simply saw it as it just appeared.
I don’t have anything to kill the creature, so I arm myself with Febreeze and an aerosol air freshener can. We are set to do battle.
I spar the creature, and get a direct hit. The spider goes berserk and begins rolling about the room, covering itself in its own web. Then, this is when the shit gets real.
As it is rolling around, I notice that the beast is actually growing in size, making the red hour-glass marking on its body much more visible.
I am dealing with black widow.
The eight-legged freak of nature rolls around my apartment, looking for cover. As it covers itself in its own web every time I nail it with my weapons of choice, its grows ad break its temporary confinement.
It hides under the sofa, and I flip the furniture hunting the hunter. It is the size of a small dog now. It hurls itself around the room, attempting to make contact with me.
I realize this back and forth can not on much longer, because the creature will become far too large to manage in any winning manner.
It jumps past me, and armed with my dual cannons of fresh scented awesomeness, I hit it with what I have left, and walk toward it, keeping it pinned in the corner.
I step on the creature and it splits in two. No more jumping, no more spinning. Just death.
Suddenly, I realize I am doing this prior to going to work. So, I rush around and put on some shorts, a polo, socks and shoes and go, leaving the carcass as a reminder to all the other insects of the world.
I show up to work, go about my business. We have a large outdoor meeting. It is an auditorium. And I am presenting today. And it is dress up day for the company. Shit.
In frantic fight for life and death, I forgot I had to dress up for the day. So, I tell a co-worker I need to go, because I left a lot of my presentation at home. I mean, I am not one to point out my own mistakes, even if it was because I was fighting a deadly spider who kept growing as I tried to kill it.
The dream breaks down as this point into parts I can’t really remember. But I did learn something from the dream.
Tomorrow is the day the company said we have to stop wearing jeans, as our casual wear.
Hopefully no spiders appear tomorrow morning. But just in case, I am going to the store, buy some Febreeze and aerosol air freshner cans. You can never be too sure.